Parenting Our Parents

This past week, my Mom gave me a real scare. She suddenly became seriously ill a week ago, and I was challenged to jump in and get her help immediately, little did I know what this would entail. While an infected tooth doesn’t sound like much, what it can and eventually did to her, became a serious medical emergency. I suddenly became the one who would parent my parent.

I found out real fast that this would be a complicated journey. Along the way I lost a bit of faith in the medical community. My Mom is a “young” 81 year old awesome lady, who also happens to be my best friend. What we experienced together this past week, I think, is worth sharing with you.

When we made our first stop last Saturday at a local urgent care. I suspected that she had facial cellulitis from a badly infected tooth. (This information I found by googling some medical sites).  She was treated like she had the common cold and basically told to “take these prescribed antibiotics and some Claritin for facial swelling.” They also told her that if she wasn’t better by the next day to go to the ER. I was appalled. I think we should have been advised by this nurse practitioner to get to the ER now.

Cellulitis is a type of skin infection caused by bacteria. Facial cellulitis means that the infection is located on or near the patient’s face. The infection may affect either the surface of the skin, or it may spread to the deeper tissues and the bloodstream. Every type of cellulitis is potentially dangerous and should be treated as soon as possible.

Since I’m not a nurse or a doctor, we did as we were told and approximately two hours later, I rushed her to the ER. At the age of 81, anything can happen.

We spent at least five hours in the ER while they performed a CT scan, bloodwork, hooked up antibiotic IV’s and diagnosed her with facial cellulitis, google was right. Much to my surprise instead of contacting an oral surgeon as they said they were going to, they sent her home after five hours.

She rested while I made a call to get an appointment to a dentist. Monday morning  I took her to my dentist thinking that he could assess the situation and help us. By then she was extremely swollen and the redness was spreading. He didn’t seem alarmed at all. WHAT? How could this be? He then sent her to an endodontist. After about 15 minutes he told her there was nothing he could do for her and that this was very serious! Finally, someone who had a brain in their head and apparently used it! He phoned an oral surgeon and described the situation in detail. The oral surgeon immediately put her on some very powerful antibiotics and scheduled her an appointment with him the next day.

When the oral surgeon saw her, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing and hearing about how she had suffered that last few days at the mercy of “medical professionals.” He basically told her that this type of bacteria was a “hop, skip and a jump” from entering dangerous territory, either her heart or her brain could be affected. I about passed out! What the hell were these other doctors thinking, or were they?

She was taken into surgery and the tooth was removed. She is now recovering, thanks to a doctor who took charge and did what should have been done days earlier.

Is this how we treat elderly people, like they don’t matter? Or does this happen to people of all ages? Is this the way it’s gonna be from now on in our hurried world?

I don’t know what the answer is. I’m thankful that my Mom is on the mend. In the meantime, parenting our parents is one of the most important jobs I’ve ever had. Someone has to be there for them to be their “ears”, and guide them through the maze of medical madness.

I hope that this post has helped to spread some information that will in turn help someone else. After all, we only get one Mom.