OK, nature, what’s all the racket going on outside my window?  I appreciate all kinds of music, but this is downright annoying. First you send us millions of cicadas who emerge from the earth like winged aliens, with no sense of direction during flight.

They frighten our kids, piss off the adults and make so much racket that even Jimi Hendrix couldn’t drown them out with one of his guitar solos at Woodstock. I heard through the grapevine that somewhere in Missouri, folks were using cicadas as part of an ice cream recipe, no comment!

See you in another, what 17 years or so?

Then after what seemed like an eternity of the obnoxious cicada screeching/mating sounds, they disappear!

This one was spying on us while we were swimming.

So what ‘s next for us nature? FROGS. Yes, frogs, we were lucky enough to have a breeding ground somewhere in our yard for small green frogs. Every night they would line up around the pool and discuss all of their daily gripes with the guy on the other side. This went on until the wee hours of the morning.

These are no ordinary cute little frogs, these guys come equipped with enough sticky stuff on their tiny feet to successfully hitch-hike on the space shuttle’s last mission. Mommies In Orbit experienced one of these green creatures, up close, when it latched itself onto my shirt.  I had to do quite a dance to get the damned thing off. It was like trying to remove a big hunk of superglue. 

And now, they’re gone! Only to be replaced by some type of noisy insect that begins their monotonous singing right about bedtime.  Their tune goes UP and DOWN, it’s some kind of melodic crap takes over your mind, until you begin feeling claustrophobic and want to set the trees on fire in the backyard.  Some say they are Katydids. Whatever they are, they are depriving Mommies In Orbit of precious sleep.

So what’s next Mother Nature? Please, no more winged large insects or frogs with attitudes or chirping night creatures. How about some cooler weather  or some psychedelic butterflies that play Jimi Hendrix tunes as the float by?  Is that too much to ask?

What would you like to hear next?

We love you Jimi!

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