Raising Kids, One Peck At A Time.

A friend of mine warned me about the perils of raising kids way before I became a Mom.

“Honey I’m not gonna sugar-coat it for you. It is what it is!”

Yikes was she right!  “Raising Kids is like being pecked to death by a Chicken.” I just couldn’t understand what she was talking about. Ten years later with twins, I totally get it.

I’m up here kids if you need me.

I adore my kids but OMG, it’s hair-raising somedays. Especially when Dear Daughter decides to have numerous mood swings within the hour. On many occasions I have begged to be one of the satellites orbiting the earth, I don’t think I could hear any screaming or door slamming out there, nothing but the whoosh of the satellites.

Some people make it look so easy toting their kids around like 10 pound sacks of potatoes. I was never one of those Moms. Maybe because I hit the jackpot and had twins. It was maddening right out of the gates, because there were always TWO babies to hold, TWO toddlers to capture, TWO pre-schoolers to keep safe from the street and now TWO attitudes to deal with.  No wonder my hairdresser has to use industrial strength hair color to harness the grey.

It’s definitely the most challenging “task” I have ever been assigned in all my years. To ensure that both of my children grow up to become decent individuals takes a ton of vodka work. I’m just hoping that they put me in a swanky nursing home with lots of piano playing……when it comes time.