The Ultimate List of Cheats on Midlife Parenting

I’ll be the first to admit, I avoided having kids like the plague for many years. Then it dawned on me, I would love to become a Mom. That was 14 years ago! As luck would have it, I became a Mom to twins right in the middle of midlife. How’s the ride been so far? It’s been a long strange trip, but well worth the effort!

I can only imagine what it’s like to have kids in your 20’s or 30’s. Perhaps it a bit easier, or maybe not.  I’ll never know. As I move through the teenage years, as a middle of the road Mom, I have developed a “cheat sheet” on how to breeze through this midlife parenting thing as solid and peaceful as possible, JK!! (just kidding)

Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

• Know that it’s perfectly OK to live your life in sort of a haze, maybe even a purple haze (you deserve it).
• Always nap when you can, this applies to parents of all ages.
• It’s OK to learn from the younger parents, they are a godsend, they’ll teach you how to relax.
• Can’t recall those glorious high school days? Google it, your kids will never know the difference.
• Let the kids do the heavy-lifting, always.
• If you have a teenage son, and I do, try not to be upset when he looks at you mortified when he hears you singing a tune from the 70’s, he’ll get over it, with minimal damage, of course.
• If someone else wants to drive to an event, let them, it’s OK, they know you’re in bed by 9pm
• When shopping with a teenage daughter, always scope out a comfortable chair, you’re in for the long haul.
• On the same note, please don’t entertain the idea of  shopping where your daughter does for clothing, she won’t admit it, but she will be terrified at your choices.
• Rejoice! Tie Dye t-shirts are in again, relive the 70’s! Go for it! This one applies to any age.
• Know that at midlife, you are probably the one person who can out-sleep a teenager!
• When your kids talk, listen, but take notes, you’ll need them later to remember what they said.
• Stock up on Ibuprofen.
• Your kids will get used to your talk of “hot flashes” and mood swings, they may even fetch you a fan!
• At midlife, cherish those moments when you do connect with your teens, it’s a miracle to be on the same page, given the age difference.
• And last but not least, keep the small talk to a minimum (in front of their friends), they know you’re “older than the hills,” but they love you anyway!

If you’re a midlife Mom, and you have some sure-fire ways to raise your kids on the fly during mid-life, please let me know, I could use the advice and the laugh!!