Have you ever made a wishlist of what you really would like your kids to do or not do? I’m forever carrying around a mental list, so I decided to put it on paper!
- Please, learn to tell time! Mommy will not be there to wake you up for that 8:00 a.m. Literature course during your first semester at college. It will not be painful to glance up from the television to check the clock, I promise!
- If you catch me sitting at my computer desk with my head in my hands, please do not approach me at that time! This means that Mommy has had it for the day, no amount of begging, babbling, or bribing is going to get me to take you to the mall!
- If our two giant dogs are jumping on the back door, and Mom is not able to get there to let them in for any reason, let -the -dogs -in!!! They will not stop until they get their way, those canines learned that trick from you!
- If you and your brother start arguing, please stop….. after a reasonable amount of time, Mommy is already taking the maximum dose of Prozac.
- When you come home from school, please do not hurl your 300 pound backpack across the floor like a bowling ball, only to stop inches from my glass china cabinet. And remember, shoes, coats, and lunch bags all have their individual homes, not in the doorway to the kitchen.
- Please give me fair warning if you have invited a herd of your friends over…. and advise me as to where your travels will take you after school.
- If you have homework, DO IT! If you need help with your homework, please ask, don’t whine! If the math looks something like the item below, please hunt down your Dad.
- If you happen to notice that I am on the phone, that means that I am already engaged in a conversation with another human being. This is not an invitation for you to hover over me and tell me about, whatever!
- When I wake you up for school in the morning and I ask you if you are up, that specifically means, are you up? That means you must place your feet on the floor and apply muscle power to get yourself to the shower, got it, good!
- And last, but not least, if you see Mom sitting down reading or relaxing, please, let me be! Raising two wranglers like you is hard work, please do not disturb!
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