Anybody got a secret for getting kids ready for school and out the door?  It’s an all-time effort for this Mom to get TWO, just two wranglers ready, Monday-Friday. I’ve been using radio waves for communication for some time now, I still get no response! “Hello, are you there?”

Who are these people I’m forced to deal with on a daily basis? And why are they living here FREE of charge?  I’m tempted to make a video of myself repeating all of the “get ready for school” warnings and broadcast it on a home network. Who knows, maybe I’ll even show up on the kids iPods, would they pay attention then??? If this Mommy scheme works, then I can just pull the blankets over my head and stay put. You know, kids like it when Moms stay put, they always want to know where you’re at!

Creating a breakfast that everyone is pleased with is an all-out enormous effort. I’m just sayin’, I’m beginning to feel like a short order cook at Denny’s, only without the compensation. How about if I just put the toaster on the table with a box of sugary pop tarts and some paper plates, will that work for ya kids?

What’s up with the 95 pound backpacks, and musical instruments this year? Every kid is practically dwarfed by his own school gear. They get on the bus, sit down, and literally disappear under all the crap.

And then there’s the Magic Transformation that takes place from the bus stop to the classroom. Those screaming banshees that I dragged out of bed at 7:00 a.m. have now morphed into angels. How does that work again, and can I get some of that for home?

Kids, they are a mystery to Mommies In Orbit. They race in the door at 4, and take over your life. Is there any rhyme or reason to any of it? Would it make more sense if I started off the morning with a martini? I’m sure as hell gonna have one tomorrow, remember that’s the day that the space junk is coming to a neighborhood near you. Good luck!

Channel Chick when the alarm goes off!
Rocket Boy before breakfast!

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