Mommies In Orbit is currently trying to prepare herself for a hair-raising experience that will knock a couple of years off her life and push her right over the edge. Yes, it’s called a family vacation. Oh no, not like you’ve seen in the movies, I mean a real live barbarian-battling vacation with two wild animal-children who couldn’t get along if they were flung into outer space.
In my confused mind, Pensacola Beach sounds dreamy, but in reality the drive to get there reminds me of a lucid nightmare. Why would any parent want to chuck their sanity out the window and drive countless miles just to create family memories?
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| Are we there yet? |
Blame it on the web. You know, the photos that suck you right in to what appears to be a relaxing vacation? It’s a different story when my kids hit the beach. They resemble a pair of Velociraptors, chirping and biting at one another like they just arrived from Jurassic Park. Beach-goers beware!
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| Sibling Love! |
Does a family vacation really have to include the kids? How does Mommies In Orbit block out the madness in the minivan from hell? Do I just ignore the sword fighting in the back seat and grab something from the glove compartment turned mini-bar? Do I slurp down some of the pink magic liquid and sleep the entire trip? How about getting some kick-ass headphones and loading up the iPod with acid rock from the seventies? Do I stay home with The Black Dog and Smart Border Collie and enjoy the peace and quiet while they rock Florida?
Hmmm, lets think about that one. “Here kids, take lots of pictures, and call me, it will be just like Mommy was there with you.” “Have a safe trip!”
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