What would happen if you gave a Mom a totally kid-free day? It’s almost mind-boggling to think about. She might start out with a “real” breakfast actually sitting down, instead of perched on the kitchen counter waiting for the next sharpened dart to fly by. She could even take a shower in peace, without having one ear directed toward the door like an animal,  just waiting for the wranglers to let out an ear-piercing howler monkey screech!!

She could take in a movie at the local theater, one with real people. A movie that doesn’t start out with, “OK kids, now put on your 3-D glasses on and enjoy the show!”  Real people, real sentences and a story line. Is that too much to ask?

After the movie and a tub of artery clogging yummy popcorn, she might take a trip to the mall.  ALONE!  She will be thrilled to look at some Mommy clothes, instead of  freakin’ “Justice” peace signs, and t-shirts that smell like PBJ’s and cotton candy, really. 

Someplace where I can avoid Beiber-fever-ten-year old girls partying in the “size 00 minus 0” clothing aisles. Perhaps a store where the isles are wide enough for these plus size Mommy hips to fit through.

Mommies, hide your credit cards!

After shopping , she might stop and grab and ice cold Coca-Cola. Ahhhh!

Service with a smile!

To end her glorious kid-free day, she may stop off and have dinner at a real sit-down restaurant, one where “the hand” at the drive thru window doesn’t toss your food to you in a brown paper bag,  and ask if you want ketchup with that? 

When she pulls into the garage she will let out a happy sigh and find her kids all sparkling clean and tucked into bed. Mommy needed this day.  Double wranglers are too much for her somedays. When the sun comes up the next day she will say to herself, over and over, “Keep Calm and Carry On.” 

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