The “SlimeTime LIVE” Cruise!

What’s next? Now one of my kids wants to go on the Nickelodeon “SlimeTime LIVE” cruise?

And that’s not all, featuring, “Nick’s signature slime!”

OK, now come on, how can a commercial about being slimed on a huge ship with Spongebob, be so appealing to kids? Once they have that commercial playing over and over in their noggins, they just won’t let up! Those commercials are hypnotizing for kids.  Haven’t we had enough slime this winter with our clogged up noses, coughs, ghostly pale skin, pink eye and don’t forget, a school favorite, head lice?

Mommies In Orbit desperately needs a vacation and not on a slimy, kid-filled, noisy, rockin’ ship, oh, yea that costs thousands of bucks!  Hey how about Sanibel Island? I hear they have fishing and shell collecting and plentiful martinis at sunset.

Besides, Mommy is claustrophobic and those tiny ship cabins would not bring out the best in me. You think you’ve seen me at my worst? Then you surely don’t want to force me to take up quarters in a shoebox with two wranglers and a husband, now do you? 

This Mom needs to be pampered, after a long icy,snowy winter, stuck in the house with two kids who can only get along if they don’t see, hear or smell one another.  

We’ve had our fill of explosions, orbital mishaps, psycho-snow days, cartoon burnout, and consuming way too much junk food!  

Kids, think about it, look at the pictures below of your dear old Mom. Who would you rather live with on a daily basis?

The nice Mom with her feet up watching her darling aliens play in the surf?  Or the porcupine Mommy, who is ready and armed to eject those spiky quills to anyone who says, “Oh yeah, let’s go get slimed again.”

 So kids, where are we going on vacation?  Think hard, little aliens, think hard!