Why is it that when your kids push your buttons and drive you right over the edge with some kind of antics, aggravation or antagonism, we freak out? Then later on after we’ve had time to settle down or have a martini, we find ourselves laughing like hyenas with a veteran Mom about the whole ordeal?
I wish I could just step back while the chaos is happening and watch from the sidelines, but this is not quite how the parent/child madness works. So with this, I dedicate this post to my kids and parents everywhere!
Hey kids, it sure wasn’t funny when I left you alone to run a 10 minute errand, came back and you, Channel Chick were screeching from the bathroom that there was an emergency, the towel bar had fallen off the wall and you were hysterical. Meanwhile, you, Rocket Boy, instead of helping your sister, you were standing outside of the door, dancing and chanting to your sister, thereby escalating the “emergency” behind closed doors.
Or how about the time when you two were supposed to be eating breakfast, which most mornings consists of a spread similar to IHop, did you fight like wild hyenas over the last piece of bacon until everyone heard you at the bus stop. Was that really necessary or could you have asked the chef for more bacon? Were you embarrassed when you had to face the kids at the bus stop, hell no, but Mom’s blood pressure was bordering on triple digit numbers!
Channel Chick, let’s talk about hair. If there’s gonna be a blowout in the morning aside from who gets more bacon, it’s gonna be a hair issue! Let it be known that the longer you let your hair grow, the more blowdrying and time it will take to make it look all awesome for fifth grade. I have spent enough money on detanglers, brushes and blow dryers that if I added it all up, I could have bought myself that cute Coach purse at Macy’s! Dear Daughter, you actually have to USE these items to have awesome looking hair. Leaving them on the counter doesn’t count. Oops, did we miss the bus again?
Now to make sure it’s even, I must pick on Rocket Boy. Dear Son, when I ask you in the wee hours of the morning if you are UP, that means that you have dragged your butt out of your cozy, warm bed and you are on the way to the shower. Getting UP in the morning does not mean opening one eye for a split second and checking the clock and then falling back to sleep, GET UP! Kids do not have any sense of time, especially when it comes to getting ready for school. Day after day, the poking and prodding of two fifth graders to get ready for school is enough to make Mommies In Orbit wish she resided on Planet Jupiter!
There are so many more hair-raising examples of how kids make their parents insane, push their buttons and then run off laughing like nothing happened. Whatever we have to do to get through the current orbit we are in, we just do it and hope to laugh about it later. I try to tell myself that this too shall pass. Doesn’t work every time, but the kid chaos is bound to continue for many more years, I just have to find a better way to deal with it. Got any ideas?
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