A Random Winter Week!

Dear Daughter.

It’s been one of those weeks where the kids are deep in cabin fever. The TV and laptops have been providing most of the kid entertainment. Dear Daughter has been showing her wild side lately. When I ask her to do something she screams at me like a jungle animal. I’ve been chalking it up to the winter blues and boredom. She screams and howls at me when she’s stuck in her skinny jeans, when she can’t get her snow boots off and when her hair is knotted like a sea hag.

Little Dude has been logging so much computer time that his eyes are buggin’ out of his head, really! No amount of “VISINE, gets the red out,” can remedy this situation. My only hope is that they go back to prison school on Monday. Then I can return to my normal Mommy routine.

Mommy routine with a smile.

Little Dude.

The kids are having fun in the snow, making bizzare creations, like the snow circles mentioned in my last post. But I think the freeze/thaw cycle is starting to effect their logical thinking.  Sometimes I catch them laughing like hyenas at Dora The Explorer, THIS news had better not get back to their classmates.  Besides, how long can they keep up this routine anyway:

1.)  Sleep in like babies until 10:00 am.
2.)  Eat breakfast whenever they feel like it.
3.)  Spend most of the day in P.J.’s with or without sea hag tangles.
4.)  Completely shut out “Mom’s voice” when she tells them to take a shower.
5.)  Watch every single episode of Mr. Squarepants, without blinking, eating or drinking.
6.)  Complete the freeze/thaw cycle over and over, sledding, until their tiny butts are frozen.
7.)  Ask Mom repeatedly what is 20 + 12, and how do you spell “stupid?”

The madness has to end. The schools have got to pull their butts up by the bootstraps and open the doors before my kids turn into babbling idiots. The only positive side is that when they are making up all of those snow days, I’ll be lounging by the pool, martini in hand, in peace and quiet. Sorry kids, did you ever figure out how to spell, GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

LOVE, 
MOMMIES IN ORBIT.