The Myths Surrounding Fertility.

I recently read an article on CNN.com titled “The ‘Big Lie’ in putting off pregnancy,” by Wendy Sachs. The article talked about celebrity Moms having babies over the age of 40 and the glamour of it all. We’ve most likely read one or two of these stories about the over-done baby showers and the fabulous weight loss after baby. I was compelled to read on because I am a first time Mom over 40.

I was then introduced to Tanya Selvaratnam’s book, “The Big Lie: Motherhood, Feminism and the Reality of the Biological Clock.” I downloaded her book and immediately felt like I was reliving a part of my past. My personal infertility journey included three miscarriages, and enough emotional upheaval for two lifetimes. What I realized while reading the book was that this is vital information that must be passed on to anyone who is contemplating Motherhood.

“The Big Lie” goes on to explain that, “Like birth control, Selvaratnam suggests that information be promoted about fertility and the realities of delaying motherhood. She suggests that every young woman be shown a chart of her overall fertility so she understands when her eggs are best and when the number will start declining. She thinks that with the information, women can be more strategic about trying to get pregnant or at least not be blindsided if they have difficulties because they waited.” http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/22/living/pregnancy-big-lie-tanya-selvaratnam-books/

I would personally recommend to any woman who wants a family to run, not walk, to a competent, fertility physician or clinic if you suspect any problems at all. I won’t go into the statistics and/or medical issues, this is all explained in the book.

We think we can have it all, the career, the suitable partner, and a family, and while that may be true in some cases, we still have to plan logically and wisely, because Mother Nature only gives us a specific amount of time to achieve a successful pregnancy. While medical technology has advanced in the fertility arena, it cannot guarantee us that we will become Moms at exactly the moment we wish to be.

After four years of infertility treatments, not covered by insurance, three miscarriages, riding a roller coaster like I’ve never ridden before, and a lot of money, I was finally blessed with two healthy children. This was a life changing experience with emotional ups and downs so powerful, that after 13 years of being a Mother, I can recall these feelings like they happened yesterday.

While it is not the appropriate time, at age 13, to talk to my daughter about marriage and having babies, there are a lot of women out there who may have daughters, friends, sisters and nieces, who may be contemplating Motherhood.  I strongly feel that this vital information is our responsibility to pass on to those we feel may benefit from it.