Yes, it can really happen! Believe me, I ripped through my forties without even noticing and orbited right into the next decade. I’ve always been a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous. I pull up next to these svelte little sports cars in the parking lot with my big hunkin’ minivan struggling to park and think, how I would love to take a ride in a convertible, any highway going West will do.
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| “I’m ditching the rugrat and heading out!!” |
My very own midlife crisis came upon me while I was first starting a family. When I heard the biological clock thundering away, I jumped on the fertility bandwagon and hit the jackpot, twins!
Talk about a slap in the face. Just when my peers were buying vacation homes and sending the kids off to college, I was having hot flashes and preparing warm bottles! Yep, that’s my life.
Fast forward eleven years. Some of my former classmates are going back to school for their PhD, I’m learning 5th grade math!
When my kids finally go to college, I’ll be ordering one of those lightning quick scooters to get around the house. And hey, I may as well get me one of those alert thingies, “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Actually I could use one of those now that says, “Help, I’m so freakin’ exhausted that I can’t move a muscle!”
Having twins at midlife was and is my major midlife crisis. It’s a hell raising event that leaves a person stunned. Life as I knew it disappeared and was abruptly replaced with parenting books and large bottles of vodka. It’s a party. At this stage I think I can catch just about anything they pitch my way.
So come on tween angst, give me the best you got. Hey teen years, I’m ready for ya! Midlife memory loss, bring it on, I’ve got lots of sticky notes at my disposal! Hey old lady with your various aches and pains, here I am, I’ve got an extra large martini glass for ya. Give me your best shot, I’ll be “Chillin’ on a dirt road” somewhere in Midwest farm country with Jason Aldean!
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| Life Is Good! |
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