I would have never guessed years ago that I would become a Mom of twins, one boy and one girl! When I begged the fertility gods for one baby, he gave me two, generous guy! The first remark you hear from people is, “Oh my, you are gonna have double trouble on your hands!”
“Yep, thanks for the head’s up.” If we could remember, it would be kinda weird sharing right from the start, beginning with the womb, then who gets their bottle first, who gets rocked by Mommy first, of course, the one who howls the loudest.
It progresses into sharing toys, parental attention, sippy cups, and the competition escalates. When they get to about third grade the bickering starts. “Well my teacher doesn’t do it that way!” or “That’s not the way it went down in the lunchroom!” There’s a reason they are in separate classes, to help save the teacher’s sanity.
“Huh-uh, that’s not the way it happened on the bus.” I have never witnessed two kids that can be getting along while stepping off the school bus, but as soon as their toes hit the front porch, they turn into wildebeasts.
Anytime they hoist their butts into my minivan, the dart throwing and teasing immediately begins. I’m talking, we ain’t getting out of the garage without someone blowing a gasket! And that would most likely be, Mommies In Orbit!
Everytime we go out to eat, we get into a full-blown competition of who’s gonna sit next to Mom. “OK, kids, Mom would be much happier if she could just grab a seat at the bar, and slurp down an over-sized martini, you two are on your own!”
They watch me like a hawk at home. Who is Mom spending more time with, Channel Chick or Rocket Boy?? Who’s Mom’s favorite? “Listen up wranglers, if Mom could perfectly and equally split her time in half, she would spend 1/2 half of it in a padded, soundproofed room, with an excellent Wi-Fi connection, and the other in a foreign country with a disposable phone. Got it, good!”
As they have morphed right into the tween orbit, they have warned one another repeatedley,
“GET OUT of my ROOM!” Channel Chick screams like a banshee when her brother turns the doorknob, and Rocket Boy sets up loud alarms in his doorway, thus alerting him that his SISTER has entered his room.
I imagine they will be buddies someday, but for now, we will just kick back and watch the show!
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