I always wonder how long my 10 year old twins could continue bickering if I just let it go. “OK, kids let’s go and get Dad a card for his birthday!” You would have thought I had asked them to go to school on a Saturday, which is a lovely thought.
First off, there’s the grand effort of getting them both in the car, at the same time. Oh yea, with shoes! Then there’s the decision of who is going to sit where. Then the fun journey begins. But before we actually leave the property, the poison dart throwing begins. Who will win this round? How tense can my neck muscles get before they hit maximum squeeze and shatter my spine? Huh kids, do you think you’re being civil? Well YOU”RE NOT!
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| The bickering orbit is unstable. |
Should I pull one of those parenting tricks from my childhood days and threaten to turn the car around, go home and make them both sit in the corner? Should I eject myself from the Mommy seat and into the nearest patch of woods?
The bickering orbit is one of fire and discomfort. We’ve been there since the twins noticed one another, and began fighting over those plastic hunks of food and dishes. I had always heard that twins were so close. I guess they have to endure many battles before they call a truce. Until then, I’ll be in the hair coloring aisle with a bottle of vodka ready to purchase!
So after making two stops looking for birthday cards, I finally gave them an ultimatium, “Pick a freakin’ birthday card for your father, or I’ll do it for you!” Why do stores make the card aisle close to the candy? Of course we had to pick up and put down every bag of candy that was reachable to their little grimy hands.
I can only hope that the next aisle over is LIQUOR and they don’t card me!
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