Super-Duper Annoying Kid Habits!!!

OK, kids, if you can learn complicated math problems, what Abraham Lincoln did for entertainment, repeat an entire Phineas and Ferb episode, then you can surely learn some of the house rules. You can see the kitchen rules I posted to your left, these rules have been written in stone for years. It’s time to memorize them!

Have you ever walked through a room with a heapin’, stinkin’ laundry basket full to the top, only to ram into a chair that doesn’t belong there? I have seen firsthand the cave people and Dear Husband get up from the table, desk, or where ever their asses were planted for the moment, and just push the chairs out and leave them there. Does this make Mommy mad? Did you learn any new curse words today?  How can we FIX this problem? By kindly pushing the chair back to it’s proper place when you are finished using it.

If you are going to eat or drink anything that includes the following:  a bowl, a wrapper, a sticky juice box or a glass, when you are finished slurping and crunching…… please clean up your debris.  The Black Dog and Smart Border Collie love wrappers and Mommy is not in the mood to pry the Little Bites wrappers out of the snarling dogs’ mouths. Thank You!

Yo, Channel Chick and Rocket Boy,when you have finished with your genius projects on your laptops, could you please brush the crumbs off the keyboard and power down? BTW, your PC screen is starting to resemble a finger painting, clean it.

Where have all the cordless phones gone to?  Hey, cave people, when you are finished chatting with your buds, will you please return the phone to the charger? This also goes for the TV remotes, could you please not wedge the remote into chair and sofa cushions, or leave it where the dogs can sit on it?

With regard to orthodontic retainers, could you please place them in their colorful containers that I paid so dearly for? When I am having my blessed morning coffee, the last thing I want to see, is a yucky kid’s retainer perched on the kitchen counter.

If you don’t want the dog to eat your homework, then pack it away in your backpack. I cannot blame the dog for wanting to eat paper when it smells and tastes like chocolate, ice cream or granola bars.

Warning, don’t leave your plate full of food on the table and walk away, have someone guard it for you.  Smart Border Collie has memorized, in her white-striped head, all of our human movements.  Her favorite trick is to run to the front door barking madly like a burglar is there, and when we follow her to confront the imaginary burglar, she then darts back to the kitchen and scarfs down your dinner. And remember, she is faster than all of us. And sometimes I think she is smarter too.