It’s a truth that probably happens more often than we know.. The end of life decisions parents make behind our backs are not to be taken lightly. It’s a twist in life that comes unexpectedly, and a tough pill to swallow.
Beware the power, of the medical power of attorney that falls into the wrong hands. It speaks loudly while all else, including love and devotion from the rest of the family falls aside, like it doesn’t matter.
Why was this person chosen over my Sister and I? Only my Mother knows the answer to that. I believe there was manipulation, invisible to my Sister and I. We didn’t get a choice.
This decision was most likely made out of pure spite, not logic, in the midst of a family drama. This is a forever decision, especially when the parent develops dementia. My Sister and I were comparatively thrown out with the garbage, like we didn’t matter to my Mother.
This is my family, I am not proud, I am sad.
I have to figure this out, I have to write about it and eventually I have to put it to rest. But for now, it’s a raw wound.
This type of betrayal only happens in movies, right? No it happens in real life. What good will it do to write about it? Perhaps it will ease the mental suffering I have endured since this occurred. Maybe someone else will learn something valuable to be able to avoid this type of situation.
Hard lesson learned. I am documenting this on my blog, and I hope others will be aware of what can and does happen.
My only legal right is to call my Mother to see how she is doing, I’m her first born child. We have always been close. But when an older person is pushed up against the wall, they get scared and unfortunately make the wrong decision.
She has dementia. I have no rights to first hand information about her health or her health care.
Do I love my Mother, yes. I am thankful I could play such an important part in her life, so that she can continue her journey.
She got a second chance at life, many people never receive that. A lot of people pray for another shot at life for a loved one, when it doesn’t happen, they suffer greatly.
I will never have the chance to help her through the time she has left. She wants to go home and voices that to me. I cannot help her make that decision as her daughter. That decision will be made by the family member who has medical power of attorney, and not the daughters that have shared a lifetime of memories with her, and blessed her with grand-children to be proud of.
And that my friend, is very sad.