Funny Things Kids Ask Their Parents.

It’s amazing what kids will ask their parents, besides the usual, “Mom how do you spell temperature?”
“Have they taught you at school about a book called a dictionary?”
This morning they must have been watching commercials, when they asked me,”Mom, how did you potty train us?” Yikes, I wasn’t expecting to hear a question like that and why would they be curious.
“Well if I can remember back 7-8 years, it’s like training a puppy, but in the case of kids you take them to the bathroom a LOT and not in the backyard.”  And you reward them with candy, and not milk bones unless they really want one, which is why you two are hooked on sweets to this day.
“Did we do anything funny when we were little?”
“Oh, besides set Mom’s hair on fire?”

Here’s the list kids:

1.  For my Little Dude, with the new and very white socks. The most memorable event that I will never forget happened when you were about three….. you swallowed a large metal marble from a game. When I asked you how it happened, you said that you wanted to put it in your mouth… you didn’t know it would go down! Making the call to the pediatrician was frightening, I even pressed “3” for emergency, but when they answered, they kinda snickered and told me to just watch for it to come out, or X-rays would be in order. Well, we never did actually SEE IT COME OUT, but since the x-rays showed a normal kid, we figured it was OK.

2. Dear Daughter, or as she now refers to herself as “Channel Chick.” You came to me one day with all the colors of the rainbow running out of your nose. Of course my first thought was that you and My Little Pony went galloping through rainbows. No wait, I see where the colors are coming from! You took the liberty of shoving some mini M&M’s up your nose, and they were literally running out of your tiny nostrils. Jeez, how many could she possible shove up there? Ring Ring, another call to the pediatrician, by now they are thinkin’ this poor Mom needs a stiff drink needs a nanny to help out with the twins. Not to worry Mom, this too shall pass.

3.  Dear Daughter, another one for you. You were still in your highchair and we were having dinner. We looked over only to find that you had lined up kernels of corn around the folds of your ear, really it’s true, I’m laughing as I write this. We will never know why you did this, and honestly, we don’t want to know. Corn is still your favorite vegetable to this day, hmmmm.

Now that they are older and situated in the tween orbit, we don’t have to worry about putting M&M’s where they don’t go, or swallowing steel marbles, oh yes, there are bigger worries. For now they are still under my wing, but I realize that soon they will be out in the world, hangin’ with friends and driving, yikes there can’t be enough Prozac for what’s coming up.

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