Mommies In Orbit has been on an extended vacation from her blog, without really going anywhere. I’ve done quite a bit of soul searching and reflection over the Summer months about life and in which direction I’m headed. Being a late bloomer, and a mid-life single Mom to teenage twins is uncharted territory. Changing courses is never an easy task, but one that has to be done. One step forward and two steps back seems to fit my current life more than perfectly. Just when you think you have learned one lesson, there’s another one waiting for you. Midlife divorce is never easy under any circumstances. Coming to terms with becoming a single Mom to teenagers takes on a life of its own. While Mom is dealing with her choices she has made, my teenagers are becoming young adults and facing their own issues.
A couple of weeks ago, an earthquake that originated in the oil fields of Oklahoma was felt in Missouri. The house was completely silent except for the rattling of my doors. It was an erie feeling to experience, but also served as a wake-up call. Change is inevitable but very difficult to face sometimes. It was time to purge the negative people from my life I had encountered this year and move forward. I deserve better. Drop the negative people from your life, wish them well, and move on.
I finally believe that little by little my thoughts are much clearer and more focused. It’s a balancing act, Mom needs to be happy and centered in order to steer her kids in the right direction, a monumental task for sure!
So where do I fit in our compartmentalized society? I have come to the conclusion that I have lived much of my life in reverse, the late-bloomer syndrome. When a lot of people were raising their children, I was traveling and trying to secure my place in life. Did I find it? Well, um, maybe, it’s still under construction. But I’m finding out that it’s OK. Admitting to myself that I have never followed the “norm” or as I like to say, “parked between the lines,” this middle aged Mom of two incredible twin teenagers starts fresh once again. I feel as though it’s time to soar! And you know what? I’ll find my place.