Aphrodite and Botox!

Have you ever felt like just blurting out to someone, “Mind your own business!” It’s kinda like if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything. I don’t usually get on a rant, except about my kids, who as you know are both 12 going on 30!

So who is Aphrodite and why am I blogging about her? She was considered the goddess of love and beauty. And by the looks of the picture, she was a blonde beauty. Well Mommies In Orbit has never been considered a beauty queen, just your average Midwestern gal, blonde hair and green eyes.

But the other day while I was at my eye doctor’s office for a laser procedure, I was sitting in the little chair in front of this machine that was just about to zap my left eye and make my vision a lot clearer, when from behind the fancy machine, I hear the doctor say, “Have you ever thought about Botox?” Wait, I thought I was here for a laser procedure on my eye.  I get that I’m over the hill, hell who isn’t and while I don’t look like Aphrodite, I sure as heck don’t look like a sea urchin!

He goes on and on to explain to me about how Botox could “erase those vertical lines in my forehead.”  And it costs around $800!!  And then you need to repeat it in six months!!  WOW and it took me years of worrying and squinting at the sun to get those lines! I sat there steaming about what he had said, with my chin resting uncomfortably in the machine, while I trusted this jerk to laser my only left eye! When the procedure was over and they flushed my eye out with who knows what, I turned to the nurse and said, “I know that you do Botox treatments here, but geez, what a hell of a way to bring up the subject!”

Frankly, I had never really noticed that I possessed lines in my forehead as deep as trenches, I just thought I had a few wrinkles like anyone else my age.

I casually mentioned when I was leaving that I wouldn’t be scheduling any Botox treatments. “I’m a middle aged Mom with twins,  who are now in middle school.  Our precious dollars will be spent on braces, glasses, contacts, video games and trips to the mall with my daughter, that is, until college!!!” I then turned around and huffed out of there, looking through my only good eye! I don’t have anything against anti-aging treatments, whether it’s Botox, expensive anti-wrinkle creams, or whateva’, but I do have a problem when people start picking on me!

What I really wanted to say as I “one eyed” it outta that room was, “You can shove your Botox where the sun doesn’t shine, doc!”



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